Most of you who read my journal know that I mark the anniversary of Cee's death on the 23rd of each month. In October, I marked it by almost joining her. Bad lungs from years of smoking combined with a viral infection brought me to the point of having to decide whether to pick up the phone and live or give up and die. I don't fear death, but the process of dying is pretty damned horrible. Breathing, the simplest and most thoughtless act, becomes the only thing on your mind. Gasping and flopping about like a fish out of water is no way to go. I dialed 911, and after six days in hospital and almost a week of recovery at home, I'm slowly getting better.

Oddly, I feel closer now to Cee, having been through at least partially what she suffered. And I also got the distinct impression that she's in no hurry for me to join her. She wants me to live out my days here as happily as possible, and come to her when it's time. So now, I set about healing my body, mind and spirit.

Hopefully I'll soon be able to get back to normal here, and begin creating again. Until then, forgive the fav-and-runs and lack of responses. I appreciate all of you very much, DA is like a family to me. So just look over weird uncle bark, eh?

and thanks especially to =thefantasim who's been with me from the beginning.

I'm behind again on comments and replies, but I hope to get to everything asap. Wednesday will be the three month anniversary of Cee's death, and I'm still miserable and depressed most of the time. I'm not asking for sympathy, but a little understanding. If I don't get to your new work right away, or answer a comment, just bear with me. I'll crawl out of this deep dark hole eventually.

I was tagged by Don't usually do this, but since I really like them I will just this once...

1. Post the rules
2. Each tagged person must tell 8 things about themselves
3. At the end you have to tag 8 people and post their icons in your journal
4. Then go back to their page and leave a comment saying you tagged them
5. No tag backs

OK, eight things about myself... are there eight things about me? hmmm...
1. I'm a Cubs fan. No matter how bad they are, it's like watching a sports soap opera. Just have to keep coming back to see what'll happen next.

2. I've lived alone for seven months, the longest period ever for me. (I lost thirty pounds in the first three months from eating my own cooking.)

3. I'm an unapologetic left wing liberal Obama democrat.

4. My vision of heaven is joining Cee in a huge field of flowers, where we'll dance madly wearing chicken suits and fruit hats. Better get some chin straps for the fruit hats so they don't fall off.

5. I don't care for video games. I played The Sims for a couple years or so until I was completely burnt out on it, but nothing else.

6. I hate rules and regulations, and have a hard time following orders. So... six is enough for me.

Anyone who reads this is automatically tagged. Doesn't matter if you don't leave a comment, if you read this, you're tagged!

Thanks to everyone who left comments of condolence for my recent loss. Sorry that I haven't answered each individually. I'm still not in a very talkative mood, but I did manage to get through many deviations today, almost all fav and runs I'm afraid. But, it's something. It's going to be a long road to being allright again, but this is a big step for me. Again, thank you all so much.

Cee ~onlyowls died last night. She was the love of my life. I'm going away for a while.