Self-Portrait

So far away from what I was; I'm a thin man, now.Long grey hair and beard, where I have hair.I finally have that sallow look I always wanted,feeling that my face was too big and wide

If I'd known all the things I've learned in almost fifty-eight years, I'd have had a good life.Sadly, I was a slow learner; it's been hard. At least I know who I am now, and I like the man.

I feel comfortable calling myself a man now. For many years, I didn't; I was a lost sheep,
a black sheep who refused to follow, but never knew where he was going; a revolutionary without a plan.

But that's behind me now. I've grown into the wrinkles on my skin.I know the world and its secrets, and know that I can't change it.

I am bold and assertive when I need to be now. Sometimes I'm short-tempered, but normally laid-back. Anyone who knows me knows that I've suffered many losses, especially in the last
few years. Losing the love of my life changed me the most.I now have the gift (or curse) of empathy; I suffer when you do.

I look at the world with great sadness, wishing that I could heal it; knowing that I can't. It's a burden I carry with gratitude, though. For many years I had turned inward, unable to feel anything. I'm happy that's behind me now.

Basically, I'm happy. I've come through all the storms a better man. I'm a writer now; it's deep in my bones. I know who I am and where I am, and finally, where I want to go.