Most of you who read my journal know that I mark the anniversary of Cee's death on the 23rd of each month. In October, I marked it by almost joining her. Bad lungs from years of smoking combined with a viral infection brought me to the point of having to decide whether to pick up the phone and live or give up and die. I don't fear death, but the process of dying is pretty damned horrible. Breathing, the simplest and most thoughtless act, becomes the only thing on your mind. Gasping and flopping about like a fish out of water is no way to go. I dialed 911, and after six days in hospital and almost a week of recovery at home, I'm slowly getting better.

Oddly, I feel closer now to Cee, having been through at least partially what she suffered. And I also got the distinct impression that she's in no hurry for me to join her. She wants me to live out my days here as happily as possible, and come to her when it's time. So now, I set about healing my body, mind and spirit.

Hopefully I'll soon be able to get back to normal here, and begin creating again. Until then, forgive the fav-and-runs and lack of responses. I appreciate all of you very much, DA is like a family to me. So just look over weird uncle bark, eh?

and thanks especially to =thefantasim who's been with me from the beginning.